So, it's rapidly dawning on me that my future plans may not proceed as intended. I'm just too blazé about the whole thing, and my nonchalance kind of frightens me in a really oxymoronic way. I'm an oxymoron. Emphasis on the latter part of the word. ..I'm clearly finding humour in these dark times. And that's the problem, to be honest.
I have so many ambitions; I must say, I'm as ambitious as they come. I'm also as lazy as they come, and the two qualities almost cancel each other out. I always aim so high, but when the time comes to reach those heights, this nonchalance causes me to fall short. As I type, I'm sitting here thinking about all the things I could be doing, with absolutely no intention of doing them. The more I think about them, the closer I feel I am to actually getting up doing something. But, from past experience, I'm almost certain I won't.
I know what I have to do, I'm just not sure how. And as this entry concludes, the thought of merely opening a book dissolves, just as quickly and spontaneously as it was formed.
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